Season 7 of Game of Thrones is almost upon us, and with it another parade of gory battles, simmering sex scenes, and tragic deaths.
It’s that last part I want to touch on here. Who will die in the seventh season of a show that’s never flinched from killing its characters off in gruesome, merciless fashion? Sometimes these deaths are to be mourned: Ned losing his head; Robb, Catelyn, Talisa and her unborn child at the Red Wedding; poor Rickon with an arrow to the back. Or Oberyn Martell, in the midst of his grand soliloquy of condemnation. Pop.
Sometimes these deaths are to be rejoiced: Joffrey’s bulging eyes as the poison took him; Tyrion settling his daddy issues in the latrine; the hideous Ramsay Bolton becoming dog food. We may not know who will meet their maker this time around, but we can make some educated guesses. After all, only one thing is certain when it comes to Game of Thrones: There will be blood.
- Cersei – Cersei is a much more complicated character in the show than in the books, where she’s almost entirely loathsome. Here, we can at least sympathize with her loss. All her children dead. Years in an abusive, loveless marriage. Your only true love is your brother. We need one main cast death in Season 7, and Cersei is the perfect choice. We need to make room for the final battle between good and evil, ice and fire, in Season 8, and we can’t have wicked queens hanging about in King’s Landing. The real question is who will kill her? Jaime? Arya? Or will she take her own life?
- Jorah – Quite frankly, I don’t think Jorah deserves to survive this show. Now he’s come down with greyscale, Game of Thrones’s version of leprosy, though much worse. Dany ordered him to go find a cure at the end of Season 6, after he revealed his malady and his love for her. In any case, I don’t think Jorah will be so lucky. Instead, I think he’ll return to Dany a third time, save her life a third time, and die in the process. It’s a fitting end for a miserable wretch.
- Melisandre – I do think Melisandre will die. She’s one of two Red Priests that matter in this story, but she’s only managed one good deed: Raise Jon Snow from the dead. The rest? Mostly burning children at the stake so she could get half-baked visions of the future and lead Stannis on a fool’s quest, straight to his death. She may want the good guys to win, but she’s willing to do any horrible thing to achieve her goal.
The Mountain – My prediction is that Sandor, the younger, smaller, gentler, and now less undead brother will kill his vile big brother in a battle more epic than any that’s come before it. Except maybe the Mountain vs the Viper. That one will always be hard to top.Finally the Mountain will be dead. There’s just one catch…
The Hound – The Hound may have never been the bad guy his brother was, and he’s grown to be a good man over time. But he’s done his share of terrible things. Still, I realize this will be painful—but some “good guys” have to die this season also. I know the show has killed off plenty of our favorites already, but we still have to be sad and distraught in Season 7 because, well, this is Game of Thrones. Maybe Sandor will save Arya in the process, though I’m not sure if she’ll need saving anymore at this point. Maybe he’ll just get sweet revenge on his terrible brother.